I've Read Every Sheet
I’ve read every sheet, man,
That’s ever hit the street, man,
From Sidney to Trout Creek, man,
The smell of ink is sweet, man.
Newspapers make life complete, man.
I’ve read every sheet.
I’ve read the …
Free Press, Valley Press, River Press, Radiator,
Pioneer, Mountaineer, Inter Mountain, Liberator,
Ranger, Ledger, Messenger, Vociferator,
Outpost, Outlook, Lookout, (I’ll read it later),
Herald, Banner, People's Voice (an agitator!),
Standard, Record, Miner (a Red baiter!)
(Chorus)
Mountain Star, Prairie Star, Western Star, Clarion,
Echo, Acantha, Independent, Guardian,
Rustler, Maverick, Courier and Husbandman,
Bee, Post, Prospect, Producer’s News, Plainsman,
Folkeblad, Zeitung, Celt and Scandinavian,
Wave, News, Chronicle, Borrowed Times, Missoulian.
(Chorus)
Populist, Socialist, Optimist, Promoter,
Upstart, American, Progressive, Recorder,
Democrat, Advocate, Picket, Reporter,
Plaindealer, Reveille, Graphic, Informer,
Searchlight, Beacon (am I getting warmer?),
Barker, Leader, Knocker, Eye-Opener.
(Chorus)
Farmer, Prairie Breeze, Enterprise, X-Ray,
Pilot, Pick and Plow, Inter Lake and New Age,
Times, Wave, Mail, Call, Calumet and Fairplay,
Stockgrowers’ Journal (a corker in its heyday),
Transcript, Telegram (subscribe and win a Chevrolet),
Argus, Hornet (I’m running out of word play).
(Chorus)
(Fade out …)
Citizen, Tribune, Bulletin, Northwest,
Index, Chief, Sun (Did I mention Loyalist?),
Sentinel, Advertiser (Whose paper have I missed?).*
*What rhymes with Gazette?
Listen to the multi-talented staff of Montana Journalism Review perform I've Read Every Sheet by clicking the link below.
Audio recording and editing by Danny Bobbe.
Dennis Swibold, a journalism professor at the University of Montana, wrote this poem late one night to blow off steam while working on his recently published book Copper Chorus: Mining, Politics and the Montana Press, 1889-1959. The book was recognized by the Western Writers of America with a 2007 Spur Award for best contemporary nonfiction.
