So long, friend

(Page 2 of 3)

MJR: When it became clear that Jack wasn’t going to recover, what were some of your challenges or reservations about covering someone that closely?

Berner: We didn’t know he was going to take a turn that badly. It really wasn’t obvious until a couple of weeks before he died, because he was hoping to go to Florida and get a transplant because he knew that he wouldn’t be able to get another transplant at the University of Washington. But then there were questions, was he well enough to travel? Would they really give him the transplant there? If he goes there am I going to be able to go in with him?

 I remember talking to editors, saying do I go with him to Florida because we could be there for weeks. But then he wasn’t well enough to travel.

While he was declining, it wasn’t obvious that death was that imminent. I don’t think it was to him or any of us.

But I think it would’ve been a lot harder for someone on staff who had just maybe graduated or was very inexperienced because Jack was a very strong personality.

We could be friends and adversaries at the same time in a way that was creative.

Had it been a younger person, Jack may not have respected them as much and they would’ve had a hard go.

MJR: What was it like coming to that realization that he was going to die?

Berner: It was a little odd because when I would come around it would perk him up. He’s a guy who’s used to being high energy, very vibrant, very outgoing and all those things are turned around.

And then, Jack wasn’t doing some of the things he was supposed to do, like walk 10,000 steps a day, eat five small meals a day. I don’t think any of those things would’ve made a difference now. At the time I did.

I think anticipating the next series in some ways kept Jack going, he very much got into being published in the paper. When these pieces ran, he’s ask for two dozen or more copies, and I’d round them up.

MJR: What was the most difficult part of this assignment for you?

Berner: The day he died, far and away. That afternoon.

MJR: Can you describe the circumstances?

Berner: I was right there. And I remember thinking, have I ever been this close to a subject? I’m in this odd position of being emotionally close to him and Deborah and it was obvious that he was never going to leave the hospital.

And all these family friends are flying in who I’ve never met. They all had concerns about how I was going to depict him and how Jack was going to look, and they’re telling this to Deborah, who began expressing their concerns.

 I just told her straight up, it’s a matter of trust. You’ve trusted me all along, you have to trust me the rest of the way.

MJR: How did you juggle your roles as photographer and as Jack’s friend?

Berner: I don’t know. It was very, very hard, extremely hard to be both documenter of this as well as emotionally close to him. And I will tell you, it’s an odd thing.

I always told Jack I would give him prints of everything that ran, and I did.

Before the first piece ran, an editor showed him the layouts two days before it was going to run as an A1 Sunday centerpiece and he hated a number of the pictures and wanted to change them. He thought he looked sick and old, which is what he looked like.

I had talked to him before that I would never show him prints before publication because it puts him in the position of editing these prints.

The person depicted is the worst judge of a photograph. How could they not be?

MJR: Give me an example of some of the prints he didn’t like.

Berner: The ones that ran the day he was prepped, where he’s coming out of the bathroom and where he’s lying in the foreground and Deborah’s on the phone in the background telling relatives that Jack’s being prepped. He really disliked those two pictures because they are hard. But I mean, they’re hard but they’re very truthful about how he looks and there’s a certain amount of fear, I think, or concern. There’s enough ambiguity in his expression that you could read it a lot of ways about his concern about being in surgery. Anyway, he came around to a lot of the pictures later because of friends who liked the pictures because they captured what was going on.

MJR: What are some of the images that are the most powerful for you?

Berner: The one where Jack is sitting in the hall and the one where he’s big in the foreground and the gesture by Deborah mimics his in the background, she’s on the phone telling relatives that Jack’s being prepped and might be having surgery.