By Briella Wilson

Briella Wilson is a Freshman in the Health Science Academy at Big Sky High School in Missoula, MT.  She is on the junior varsity volleyball team and will play softball for the Eagles this spring.  Briella lost her brother, Weston, when she was in the 3rd grade and has worked hard to overcome her grief.

For me, faith means being certain of the unknown; certain that things will get better when you truly have no idea they will.

My brother was diagnosed with autism. When Weston was little, he didn’t want to be bullied, so mom taught him that when he got excited, instead of flapping his hands at his chest he should snap his fingers down low. Weston taught me that faith means believing you can overcome challenges.

Weston had faith that he could be whoever he wanted to be and nothing could stop him. Even with his autism, Weston was able to live alone, get a job, and drive his car around town. Weston always assured me that even though he had autism, he would be the best brother. And he was. Weston showed his love in many ways. He took me to every single Jurassic Park movie because we both loved to watch them together. As a family, when we were both still young, we traveled to Disney World. Weston spent his own money to buy his little sister a stuffed Minnie Mouse.

I remember coming home from one of the best days out on the lake with a bunch of my mom’s friends. We were right outside of town when she got a call. While she was talking, I watched her face grow pale, and she gripped the phone tighter every single second. Her voice became laced with worry. We were driving by St. Pat’s hospital when we saw an ambulance rushing by with its lights on. My mom said that my brother was the one in the ambulance and that we needed to follow it. Her friend driving the car did a quick U-turn, and we followed the ambulance the rest of the way.

When we walked into the ER, my mom said my brother’s name, and they walked her right back. I wasn’t allowed to go. At that point, I had no idea what was happening, and I felt so weak and useless. Mere seconds after sitting down in the waiting room, my dad came rushing in and gave me a huge hug. He informed me that my brother had a vessel explode in his brain and he had a huge brain bleed. He assured me that everything was going to be fine, but then he called my other brother and his wife and told them that they needed to come home immediately. That was when I knew it was serious and the faith that I had in my dad’s words was gone. My brother was not ok, and he might never be. Just ten days after Weston was admitted to the hospital, I was informed my brother had died. In that moment I experienced something that very few teenagers ever have.

Five to eight percent of teenagers in America lose a sibling, and many go through a grieving process that can take months, or even years, to overcome. To overcome something, you have to have faith. You have to believe faithfully that a new day will get you closer to overcoming the grief. At least, that is what most people say, but because of Weston, I think that faith brings more than that.

As a teenage girl who lost her brother at the age of nine, I say faith helps you overcome grief and shows you how strong you can be. You can go through losing a sibling and have faith that everything will be ok. You won’t always break out in tears if someone mentions their name. You will stop throwing up from the sadness. You will look at a picture and remember all the things you did together instead of the things you wish you could have. You are strong.

The definition of faith is believing without seeing. If you can lose a sibling and believe that everything will get better while the people around you are breaking down, while you are breaking down, then you are one of the strongest people out there. If you haven’t lost a sibling, but lost a mother, father, grandfather, grandmother, or family pet and still have faith that everything will be ok, you show strength. That is why I believe that faith is strength. Weston taught me to have faith.

To find grief resources for children and teens, contact a grief resource center in your community or search online:

National Alliance for Children’s Grief

Dougy Center Grief Support for Teens

Tamarack Grief Resource Center

MontGuide: Understanding Grief and Loss Following Death

Northwest Montana United Way Good Grief Camp

To find resources to support someone with developmental disability, visit:

Autism & Grief Project

My Grief Angels/People with Disabilities

dsagsl.org Grief Packet (includes social story)

Disclaimer:

This publication was developed under Grant H84MC32752 from the Health Resources and Services Administration (HRSA), Family to Family Health Information Center, $96,750. Views and opinions expressed in this article are the author’s and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the Montana Family to Family Health Information Center, the Rural Institute for Inclusive Communities, the University of Montana, or HRSA.

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The Montana Voices Amplified project offers people of all ages and abilities a stage to speak for themselves.  The series is hosted by the Montana Family to Family Health Information Center (MT F2F), a program of the Rural Institute for Inclusive Communities (RIIC) at the University of Montana.

Montana Voices Amplified provides a microphone and broad audience so the stories, lessons, causes, and advice of individuals with disabilities and their families are heard.

Montana Voices Amplified welcomes submissions of five-minute videos or 600-700-word essays on any topic related to your lived experience as a person with a disability or caring for someone with a disability.

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