Showing Support

Survivors of sexual violence or discrimination often confide in a person they know and trust before they contact a program like SARC. Thank you for making a compassionate response when someone shares their experience you. How a friend or trusted person responds makes a huge difference in whether or not a survivor seeks out further support.  

Please remember, interpersonal violence, sexual assault and stalking behavior is NEVER the fault of the survivor. No matter what happens or what the situation is, the person at fault is the person who chooses to cause harm. 

A referral to SARC is appropriate any time a student brings up issues of sexual violence or other identity-based harm. Please share the Missoula YWCA 24-hour support number, 406-542-1944. This number connects the caller with a local advocate 24-hours a day. You can also offer to bring a student survivor to SARC at Curry Health Center. Trained advocates are available to assist and support survivors, their friends & family, and faculty & staff of the UM or Missoula College campuses.  

SARC is available to provide consultation or training to faculty or staff who are in contact with a survivor. Remember, it is always the survivor's choice whether or not to use any resource. 

Ways to Help a Survivor

As a faculty, staff member, or friend you have the opportunity to provide the link between the student survivor and additional support and services. 

• Listen without Judgment: Listening sympathetically and without judgment establishes a climate of trust and safety. Take the situation seriously and give the survivor every consideration you would for anyone facing a serious life event. Each person will react to violence or harm differently in their own way. There is no “right way” to react. Each person is the expert of their own experience. Supporters just need to listen and offer validation.  

• Provide Validation: Affirm that the person did the right thing by coming to you with this information. Let the survivor know that they are in charge of what happens next. Do not press for more information. Please do not assume that touch will be comforting to a survivor. Ask the survivor before you hug them, hold their hand, etc. Express that you realize that this is a difficult thing to share and you appreciate the courage it takes to make the first step toward recovery. Continue to express to the survivor that violence and harm are never the survivor’s fault. Feel welcome to say things like “I am sorry this happened” and “This is not your fault.”   

• Refer to Resources: Please let the survivor know that there are others on campus who care about their safety and wellbeing. Offer to walk with them to the SARC Office or to Curry Counseling (both in Curry Health Center). SARC has “walk-in” hours weekdays from 12-3pm, where students can come speak with a confidential advocate without having an appointment first. If it is after business hours and the survivor would like to speak to an advocate, suggest they call Missoula YWCA 24hr Support Line: 406-542-1944. Seeking assistance from any resource should always be the survivor’s choice. There is no one way for a person to respond after violence or harm.  

• Protect Your Own Wellbeing: If you have personal issues that might interfere with your response to this person, it would be better if you expressed your thanks for their trust in you, but let them know that you need to get someone else to help them. Please honor your boundaries while making sure the survivor receives appropriate assistance.