What is it?

Communication is one of the most important skills a good leader can improve. Communication is also difficult to improve and takes consistent practice to perfect. Sending a message to another person is complicated by the receiver's interpretation of your voice tone, facial expressions, body language, and energy level. It is also impacted by their current mood, relationship with you, worldview, experience with authority figures, insecurities, job satisfaction, and personal life. And finally, the message you convey can be impacted by the time of day, light in the room, background noise, ability to shift their focus, or interest in the topic at hand. All of this "noise" hinders your ability to accurately convey information and for the receiver to understand what you're communicating. If that wasn't enough, text messaging, e-mail, and video conferencing have added new challenges to accurately deliver your thoughts and ideas.  

Why does it matter?

It's important to realize that very few people have a communication style that matches yours and that you will need to make adaptations to understand what others are communicating to you. To better understand your communication style, ask yourself the following:

• How sensitive are you to the voice tone of the speaker?
• How often do you find yourself having strong emotional reactions to someone interrupting or speaking over you?
• How do you interpret sighs or eye-rolling?
• Do you have an intuition that automatically perceives tension or conflict when you walk into a room?

Your responses to these situations are likely to differ from your colleagues. Some people will determine the meaning of a message based on voice tone, and others will barely notice. Some people might pick up on an emotional undertone to an e-mail message, and others might not notice it at all. Again, keep in mind that communication styles are vastly different, and understanding what others are communicating takes patience and emotional self-control. Understanding others also requires self-knowledge, the ability to manage your emotions and to manage your relationships with colleagues, especially those who irritate you.

Practice strategies that work

When working with colleagues and organizations try to be: 

Clear 

• Know the “why” or what are you trying to accomplish in the meeting.
• Stay on the message – what do you want others to most understand.
• Avoid “Uh” “Ummmm” – Slow down and take natural pauses or breaths in place of filler words.

Unbiased 

• Use gender-neutral phrases, such as, instead of “Hey guys” try “Hey everyone”. 
• When in doubt, respectfully ask people how they want to be identified (see Inclusive Language Guides such as this one from Oregon Health and Science University for more information or our courses on Culture).

Accessible 

• Use smaller more common words – no one is impressed with big words.
• Leave room for others to ask questions – avoid one sided conversations. 
• Ask if others are following you or what you are saying makes sense.
• Reach out and be inclusive of all opinions - ask others if they have ideas or thoughts on the topic being discussed. 

Communication is a lifelong skill, to learn new skills or refine your skills also try: 

Active listening 

• Maintain eye contact and use brief physical and verbal affirmations you are listening.
• Clarify understanding, such as, “What did you mean when you said …?”. 
• Restate what you are hearing to seek validation you are understanding by saying phrases such as, “So you feel that…” or “Are you trying to say…”.
• Don’t interrupt, and encourage communication. 

Nonverbal

• Be aware of your facial expression. Video communication has provided us a new opportunity to monitor ourselves. 
• Be aware of your tone of your voice and non-verbal communication such as grunts and sighs. 
• Nod in agreement to show you are listening. 
• Use culturally appropriate touch with consent. 

Seek feedback 

• Be prepared to feel uncomfortable. Spend some time thinking about what skills you would like to improve, or areas where you would like feedback.
• Ask coworkers, supervisors and clients for feedback on your performance in real time. 
• Pose specific questions, such as, “What is one thing I could do to improve our communication/meetings?” or “How did that go from your perspective?”